Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in crookedoutlook's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, September 15th, 2005
8:48 pm	wow. i can't believe i remembered my password. so it looks like i left jaws at the right time. they're shutting it down for stupid reasons, gas being the main reason. that's not stupid but i'm really confused at why this sudden decision is happening, and where all the people who actually love working at jaws are gonna go. this new job is completely a challange but it's amazing. it's funny how fast time goes when you're mortified. oh crap. (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 22nd, 2005
3:02 am	release your inhibtions i should be sleeping. i just want to say rebecca makes me so fucking happy. and tonite i realized that i'm not a waste of breath. i have to remeber that. i have plans tomorrow. oh yes. baby pool, clean the hell out of everything. and lose weight. long story. i heart this journey. amazing. and sad. i wish i wasn't feeling doubtful and full of regrets. and i am mad at myself for expecting something from him. i didn't. he suprised me yesteray. but today he wasted my time again. i'm hoping everyone will forget tomorrow morning. i wrote a song with a piano. woooo Current Mood: crazy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 24th, 2005
12:46 am	drove up to hillside manner sometime after 2 a.m. for the first time since i was in high school, the little bug of loneliness has crept under my skin. that sounds shitty. i've been crazy heartbroken and sad about relationships, but this is different. this is the quiet before the storm. it's not about my past. it's not about the pain i've caused or what i've fucked up, but it's here because i have no idea what's about to happen, and i don't know how long it's gonna be until it happens again. i understand that shit needs to be figured out, but lonely has paid it's visit. it's weird too because it's not overly uncontrollable. it's like damn. i hope i get to feel amazing again. i have a feeling i get one more hoopla before i finish my life alone. i don't deserve to be with anyone. on a side note, i want extensions bu my friend said i'd go bald. and i'm not allowed to say "cunt" anymore in my house. ha. alot of memory, pain, explorations, discoveries. right now i don't like myself. i blame me for every moment leading up to right now. i blame myself for losing that sense of wonder when i play with my son. it's like a need a smoke break from my existance. i'm overwhelmed. and i dunno if 3 jobs is the next choice. i think i'm definately moving. i need to get out of here. i hate my job. i hate the way my weeks go. i also miss her. and that hasn't happened in awhile. i mean i always miss her but there's moments where i painfully wish we could have a sitdown and she could let me know that i'm retarded and i can fix it like this. that's the thing about best friends that die when you're 18, well for me at least, i feel like i'm wasting this change because she couldn't do anything about what happened. but i can do something with my time. and i don't. i yell. i cry. i feel shameful. but lately i've been looking around at people i love and i know some of us will be and do what we want. i see the people i went to school with. i am jealous of almost everyone. i think i'm going to quit smoking. there's somthing about writing all the bad junk in here because i feel better immediately. but if it costs that chance that people reading this will think i'm looney, i guess it's ok. jesus it smells like pumkin seeds in here. somebodu asked me where i want to live. i said chicago. i want a doorbell. they were amused by that. i can't wait for the day when musicains talk to me as musician. not as a girl with tits. i need to stop fearing the possible. i deny so much for fear of not familiar...um ness. but the thought of moving out of here. out of stupid orlando. and getting a place of my own. with candles, and my own house key. the idea of getting paid somehow to create, (i'll figure it out) i wish i could chase becca to new york. i would totaly do it if a 3 year old's outlook wouldn't be scrambled. i need a hammock. i need a chance to breath. i also want to say i love there's always something there to remind me. and love is a battlefield. and god only knows. i need a hug. and long hair. Current Mood: drained (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
9:54 pm	this shit is bananas. i just want to take this time to say that i had a pizza bite, or whatever the hell it was. anyhow it looks like an itty bitty eggroll, and when i bit into it it exploded onto my shirt and pajama pants. i figured out how to download music and it's saving me. i'm feeling restored and hopeful. and sad. going to see a show on thursday really helped. my week was so overworked and under yummy. nothing is that exciting anymore. and i have to make some decisions. and find a trap door into some serious amazing shit. someone called me mommylicious the other night. i thought that was neat. holy shit it was amazing. so i just turned around and saw corbin standing behind me with a pillow. and it scared the piss out of me. i yelled. i don't want tomorrow to end. i don't want monday to come. if anyone wants to purchase hemp necklaces or bracelets lemme know. i wish i had a trampoline in the backyard so i could jump around naked. oooh banananana split time. Current Mood: cranky (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, April 18th, 2005
9:40 pm	everyday is a struggle from what i wanna say to what i should keep to myself... man. i wake up this morning and drop corbin off at daycare. everything seemed fabulous...until i got a call 3 hours later tellen me corbin realized i wasn't coming back for awhile. then the teacher gave him the phone and i had to listen to the hardest call of my life~ corbin telling me inbetween gasps and sobs that he wanted me to pick him up and take him to jaws. i told him i couldn't, and that i'd be there soon. i was under the impression that i'd be off an hour earlier. it all made sense. well i was distracted the entire day because i was worried about corbin, and an hour before i was supposed to leave i find out that's not the case. i was getting out at 3. and i hadn't taken my lunch yet. long story short i felt completely invisible and unimportant. i had to battle traffic and the chance of running out of gas to finally get to the daycare. he was so happy to see me. and then when we were driving home i had to stop for a bunch of ducks crossing the road, one of which had a mohawk. i think that was god's way of telling me to slow down. i've been stressed all day about money and responcibility, and if i really should forget about the things i'm truly good at in the hopes that i can find something practical. i got a call from a tax guy saying he saw my resume. i might go for. i prolly won't. but i'm tired of not getting paid enough to work as hard as i do. and i'm tired of people around me not working hard enough. and then out of nowhere we find this kitten. this precious calico kitten that seems to want to be my best friend. but then i realize i can't take care of myself and my son, let alone another family member. but i want it. that life. me, son, and kitty. and wine and my drafting table and enya playing in the background when my son is asleep. he had never been so awful. it was like he used all of his preciousness at daycare and had nothing left. and that's exactly what i do. i waste all my preciousness on assholes with express that don't give a shit about me, and then i come home lifeless. at least i see it now. but i don't think i'm strong enough to go through another today. and i know tomorrow is gonna be hell. i have nothing solid to keep me positive. i know everybody's answer is "your son": but i need fuel before our battles. if i'm lifeless like i was today when he struck, i will be lifeless tomorrow. and the only thing that's keeping me sane is the memory of how it felt to paint a long time ago. these are the things i think about when i'm doing my shows. the life that i want, the things that i've lost, the person i can never become because i am simply not storng enough. i will never be vivid again. not in that catagory. i have to figure out how to battle corbin with affection, and i'm filled with so much hate i'm not sure how to reach that level. i hope something happens tonite to releave my pain because i might end up punching someone in the face. 1st bitch that says "do you have a napkin? i don't want to get wet" . i'm a stranger in my own home. i knew mom loved her more. Current Mood: distressed (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 11th, 2005
5:36 pm	and now i'm thinking about the courage to let you walk away sad day. but i'm working alot and corbin's going into daycare soon. i just hope they don't say he's too hard to deal with and then decline me. sad sad sad. i might be making a huge mistake. but what are you gonna do? all the more reason to do things on my own. maybe i will go to tampa after all. he looked at me this when i asked him if he was gonna be good and he said "no, i'm gonna be mad. like you" if that's not the truth hurting i don't know wat is. the past month i have done things i either cannot believe or do not understand. things that i am not proud of, and things that hopefully i'll learn from. i realize i put on this great show at work and offer this amazing person to the guests, but when i get home i'm an asshole. i hate where i come home to and i hate everything around me. i need some kind of hope. and i need to do it alone. maybe this is how it will always be. damn it i'm confused. i have no idea what's gonna come and if i will regret this moment. i already do. man. how does one get over the fact tat she's been screwed over and she froced to handle things on her own? i van't i'm too busy being jealous over friends that can afford shit and people that are able to go out whenever they want. the biggest thing is i'mnot sure how to get a better job without school, and i can't go to school if i'm the only one watching him. so i'm gonna stop rambling. i'm confused and scared and not at all excited about what's about to happen. maybe i will be later. Current Mood: embarrassed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
5:28 pm	you're gotta sink, or you're gonna swim. so i'm supposedta be writing this in my journal as part of a way to unblock my creativity but i'll write it on here first because it's always more fun when there's a chance people can read it. so i've been high on meds since monday now. i've been sleeping and having fun with corbin, and everything was fine until this morning, 3 days after, when i woke up with john travolta's chin. what the hell is that? i'm gonna have to call in to work tomorrow... and figure out ways to earn some extra money with hemp necklaces and other shit. something extraordinary came to be today. something that usually makes me whimper and fall down. today i was fucking claire huckstable. you know what i mean. i talked to the other woman. the mother of corbin's younger sister. we traded pictures, and had a good conversation. i might be retarded and not so bright from time to time. and it might be like maniac mansion where i'm the character that doesn't have alot to offer, but i can see her side. i now she hurts, and i can feel for her daughter. maybe that's enough. i also have a life plan to get my shit together in 2 years or so. i have to move out so i can cook eggs whilest in my underpants. and to have more babies. and a puppy. i almost said pupper. crazy. she sent me pics today so i could see her daughter/ corby's sister and i saw a pic of her. i think i hated her so much that i wanted her to be ugly. she's not. i realize in some ways i wanted so badly to have someone to blame for all of this. now the feeling of needing to blame noone is stronger and more hopeful.and i have no idea why all these feelings of wanting to make smart decisions and grow up are here. i'm tired of living in the shadowas. i want to do something with myself. i want to eat pudding and watch bring it on. i think i'm gonna write a book. i cannot believe this. we were watching the musical peter pan, and when it came time to fly i said pudden was my happy thought, and my mom came out of her room throwing glitter and she, my son and i ran around screaming and flying. it's amazing. Current Mood: crazy (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 21st, 2005
7:55 pm	you can turn wine into water holy shit i survived! this weekend was a goody. it started off with me working 4 days since monday (which is a huge deal considering they rescued me on mon so i thought the week would suck. my lessons from that experience were good cause i realize i love the people i work with. even the ones i don't really love i kinda do. because think about it. if there's a cliche' annoying person in almost any cheesey comedy. or something. and if they were not in that part than the movie would be lost. so everybody has there part. so work was fun, i fucked up with my bank again that made me sad. practice didn't go too well. i have to figure out how to break out of my mold and write like a champ. completely out of what i'm used to. i think 'm going back to school. so friday i had off because my father's birthday party was that night. that in itself fucked me up because i thought it was sunday was in advance. my brothers and sister in laaw came out for the party. my boyfriend watch corby for me and i ended up having so much fun. it's an old bar with a bunch of crazy old people,but i really had fun. i got to see my sister play drums, i fell in love with my father as he soloed with his guitar with the band. then i got forced into going up there, and i sang landslide. with the band. they're called "dreams." anyway the end of the night was evening came when the band played "i'm proud to be an american" and ashley and i were waving our flags widely while she hit a strind of P.B.R cans like a champ. the other 2 special moments i remember where standing in a circle with my family outside and making a wish, and then me standing on top of a picnic table screaming "if i were a rich girl" so then the weekened involved quality time with my family, and chinese food. we got into an insult fight (because my brother's a smartass) and i realized i had to go to an extra class after kindergarten before 1st. what kind of an asshole fails kindergarten?? so last night i ened my last meal with steak, and this morning i went to the dentist to get 3 teeth pulled. it was fabulous. i had an air thingy on my mouth and i was wide awake and thinkin and then i was stumbling to the car. i got us lost, and then when we went to the store apparently i picked out lots of pudding, soupl and a carvel ice cream cake. this is hilarious to me. i used to do that when i was pregnant with corbin and sad. get a cake for myself. so that's funny. and i slept ALL DAY like a baby. and i have perkaset in my tum tum. the end. Current Mood: high (Comment on this)
Friday, March 18th, 2005
3:28 pm	to you i belong. so as we speak my friends are on their way to jersey, prolly having an amazing time. i'm watching movies and realizing things i never thught about before. i see doors closing and chances for things i've always dreamed about. when i watch movies with corbin i see a completely different storyline than he does. and when i hear music i think about how happy i was when i lived in the apartment with tawnya by metro west. i don't understand the dexcisions and events that lead me to be stting here in my popcorn p.j. pants. i wish i could see more clearly. i have every chance of amazing things. i feel like harry potter. i have to figure out my powers. ugh. maybe i feel more like buffy. the movie. not the show. cause that movie is amazing. i just want to be comfortable. i'm not. my teeth hurt, and i'm sharing a bed with a 3 year old. at work it's me against the big dawgs. it's not about giving guests amazing experiences. it's about pleasing the supervisors. and sometimes it seems like it's not the same thing. i wonder if they have problems too, the sups.do they eat spagettios in their underpants, do they have bad days? are they crazy vunarable? can they spell? i wish i was raised in a farm. i'm going to my dad's birthday party. i might be singing tonite. that'll be fun. i want extensions. Current Mood: uncomfortable (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 13th, 2005
1:02 pm	the sexiest thing is trust i think growing up is when you realize superheros are really just people you caught at a good moment in their lives. you understand that other moments they're just like us drinking milk in their underpants. my son sees me as a super hero. and i just get mad. today david told me i took a nap and corbin said "i won't wake her up, i just want to kiss her on the cheek" that's amazing. he fell asleep on me yesterday when we went the robot movie (very good by the way) i understand that there's a connection and all i have to do is celebrate it. i have a little of a rough situation in my world, and by me trying to make myself sound like a poor little girl i should shut the fuck up and make this better. he and i can be so happy. but he has to know who's boss. and he shouldn't have 4 different voices telling him what to do. i'm starting to see things. i guess the better word for it is that i am starting to want to change things. i've seen them for awhile, but now it's time for me to act upon it. i have been so frustrated and mechanical. doing what i'm supposedto. i'll explain later. i think aussie hates me. i have to go play scene it. Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Friday, March 4th, 2005
10:21 am	i will be safe in my frame. i hate a chicken sammich. it was good. i'm deflating. but finally somebody (becca hot hot) was telling me a story and i realized that some people do understand that i'm having it a little hard. i realize that i won't be able to rid myself of this feeling until i'm out of this atmosphere. i just want to wear cutes jammies and watch tv in my own house with the babies asleep. turns out i have another single mom who wants to live with me. it'll be fabulous. it's gonna be a crazy situation where my mother does not approve of my decisions. but i don't think it matters anymore. i thought it was gonna be a good evening but then it came to a sitatuion where i was reminded yet again that i'm worthless. i know i'm not making sense so i'm just gonna babble cause it feels good. i talked to all these people at work today that had goals. i cried the other night at the realization that i'll never be that kid whose parents pay for them to go to college. not even that part is what hurts it's the part where i can't study things i truly enjoy. i want to learn. i want to be educated in art more, and i have got to figure out a way to do it. and i have to write lots of hate songs for my son's father because there's a little ball of complete anger where i cannot control the fact that i am so pissed that he fucked up my gameplan. it's not so much that my role in life is single mom that makes me feel empty. it's the fact that that wasn't the way it was supposed to be, and i'm not very good at it at all. i'm not really good at anything. and if i am, it's simply because i've avoiding doing those things for a long amount of time. if i were to carry on with something i'm good at, i would find a way to fuck it up or get bored with it. i don't have any real source of feeling worthy at this point, and maybeit's starting to weigh me down. i have no street smarts, and i'm not very centered. i know what i want but i have no way to get there. it's like i'm jumping from building to building and the space between is getting too far apart. i'm running out of peole to trust, and i'm getting smaller. i realize that it's time to give up the things that i truly enjoy in exchange for trying to seriously be an amazing mother and try to correct all the things i've already done wrong. i don't need to go to school, i need to work my ass off to get us out of here. even that makes my mom mad. it's like at work. we let mimi teach us our script and our motives, she signs us off and we're free to do our own shows. then we improve and learn. if she was on our boat every fucking time there would be no chance of improvement for the sakes of our own hearts. meaning if my mom is up my ass with opinions and comments, i will never do things on my own. fuck. this isn't about me not wanting corbin. this is about me realizing i have to do everything i can do make things better for us. Current Mood: sad (Comment on this)
Friday, February 25th, 2005
9:31 am	it's got chunks in it like little hard chrunchies. i think this toothache is god's way of helping me to not be nervous about tonite. but i won't be able to drinkadrink to calm my nerves because of the meds. whatever. i tried to go to a place to get the bitch pulled yesterday and they're like "no." they told me they couldn't it cause the tooth is too fierce so i have to go to a surgeon. splendid. i woke up this morning not in tears though so maybe the meds he gave me are better than the ones from the root canal i had 4 days ago. i think i'm gonna actually be able to enjoy today. like pick out my clothes and shit. the grunge is crazy. i have to go. more later Current Mood: awake (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
9:47 am	when you're only wet because of the rain. tori is so beautiful. she wil never be ugly. it's appropriate that my child is screaming while i'm trying to listen to tori play on regis. we've got my judgemental sister telling me what she wouldn't do that i'm choosing to do in the background too. all these people with ideas on how to feel. what the fuck ever. i have to depened on my opinions and know my strengths. my tooth hurts so bad. i think it's funny that i was told to rinse my mouth with rum to numb the pain. that's fun.i think i'm gonna give my supervisor one more chance before i look somewhere else. so aussie wrote me. hee hee hee i'm excited. ok i have to spit my rum out. Current Mood: cranky (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 18th, 2005
10:51 pm	pizza rules so bump the email comment, i got one better... so i had a rough night last night and jenn calls me to tell me that her aussie called and they talked for awhile....they were in ca and were to leave today. so i'm thinking "awesome they love us." then i realized that i haven't talked to my boy and i left my number on their hotel phone one of the nights that we hung out. so i'm driving home with all these thoughts like maybe i was just there for the humor factor and maybe kyle was right, he didn't like me. well kyle can put it in his pooper. aussie calls me and leaves a message tellen me that he wanted to say goodbye and he had fun in orlando, that he'd write me when he gets home. woo hooooooooooooo i know this is a lil 7th grade`ish, but this boy did something to me and i'm not sure how to make it stop. everytime the giddy feeling fades, something happens to make it hop back up. i seriously think a trip to austrailia is in the making. just wait til he hears the song i wrote about him. cause he will hear it. one day..... on a different note tonite was very hard and simple and beautiful. i forgot how amazing i had it and i forget why i stopped it. and i'm only thankful to get a glimpse into that miracle again. i also have a little reminder that i will never lose or drop on the floor...i can't believe how relieved i am to have it back. i'm so happy degrassi is back. i hope it never ends. i hope they realize that old people watch it too and then all the characters can stay in school til their 50 and i'll never stop watching it. i want to do a cartwheel but it's too cold outside and i have to poop. i think i'm just gonna curl into a ball and see if what not to wear is airing again. what a tremendous journey it was to drive down streets i used to be able to do on autopilot. everything was new and old at the same time. driving back was harder. i guess it always will be. he said "goodbye babe" eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Current Mood: impressed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
2:16 am	i heart him i love the show cheaters. and i love the new rascal flats c.d. it's amazing. i was supposedta go to a club with becca tonite but horrible things happened and i feel worse than i ever have for being a mom and sucking at it. so i stayed home and fell asleep and doo doo called me to let me know the aussies called to say hi and stuff. they do love us! we might be going there sometime soon and that would be amazing. so i have to grow up and get a new job. no shit this time. i can't stay at jaws just because i'm scared of failing anywhere else.oh shit the guy is trying to fight the guy his girlfriend got with. i had steak for dinner. i want a banananananan split. i want to live somewhere and have a place to put my soap with the dragonfly on it. i almost said soup. one more day of jaws. hurrah. Current Mood: enthralled (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
1:32 pm	no i don't cry on the outside anymore things are crazy. my feet still haven't recovered from the high heal incident. heel? yesterday wasn't so nice. not for the valentine factor but just in general. coming home to a place i wish i didn't have to come home to. my mom is turning into my grandma, and with her trusty sidekick my sister it's just too much to deal with. i feel like a bad mom for trying to be patient while corbin screams and screams, in the hopes that i will win and he'll go potty. but instead it looks like i'm just trying to piss him off on purpose. i've said this before but she's no longer on my side. i can't ask any questions or be expected to work harder because she wants to be carefree. which is completely understandable because she's watching corbin for me in the first place but i can't find any other options if i'm being held down by her fierceness. nothing i do is right and i feel her judging me all the time. i don't live here, which means i really don't have a place to feel safe. except maybe for kelly's garage. time to go to hard rock and rainforest. then i can pierce my labret and it'll be lovely. my baby is getting really handsome. he's angry inside but his eyes are precious. and his facial expressions are unreal. just like mommy. he's humorus at such a young age. on a different note let's see if aussie sends me an electronic letter. he said he would when he got back from holiday. uh fu fu. i definately have to add the question "would you ever sleep in a bathtub with me?" as one of my important questions. i think the thing that shocked me about this guy is that he asked me questions too. shit that made me think. even though everything's insane things are starting to make sense too. friends, special things that happen and what i'm starting to realize. i have got to find a way of being less stressed out. doo doo might come over tonite to drink. it'll be a gas. let's cross our fingers and hope for a successful practice tonite. we have less than 2 weeks to practice. it's not like this is gonna be a huge show or whatever. but it's the first time more than 5 people have heard us at once, not to mention my first show. ever. my armpits stink. i have to go watch thomas and the jet engine. Current Mood: sore (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 14th, 2005
8:00 am	cheese you later tremendous. my feet hurt so terribly bad. like blisters and shit. and i finally caught that cold everybody's been enjoying. i took a shift today to be good and now i'm in trouble again. i certainly hope my friend gets back to me on the hard rock cafe tip. i need to move. i need a massage too. and maybe some mamossas. i spell things the way i tops the uncle jessie dream. things are crazy but making sense at the same time. i feel like i have both feet on the ground but i'm in the middle or a tornado. whatever. happy heart day bitches. Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 13th, 2005
9:56 am	i drive my tractor that is red. wow. i had this fabulous dream with uncle jessie and hotties and me going to college, and me with a group of friends, and sitting in a bubblebath. and i thought i was going to have a good day. then i wake up to corbin and he is not happy. so this is gonna be fun. we went to the gogos last night. that was fabulous. and missy borrowed my car this morning and couldn't figure out how to turn the back windshield wiper off. ha. man. i just won the battle of the oatmeal. he refused to eat anything other than strawberry and all we had was brown sugar. after about an hour he finally came up to me and tried it. i win i win i win i win. watching the go gos, hanging out with kyle and kelly and waking up to a rascal flats song about life has mad me a little happy. i want to try to clean my room but i tried to do that last night and i broke my dresser. i need to practice. dad says my strumming is getting better. my whole body hurts but my insides are alive and carefree. i couldn't find a matching shoe in my car (go figure) so the only matching i could find were the horrible but beatiful half heel shoes so now my feet hurt. i forgot that i pulled up to the parking lady and when she gave me my shit i was bent over looking in the back and i shouted "i found it!" and pulled out only one adidas. that was funny. something else that is funny is that i caught a boy singing to britney on the people movers and i called him out by pointing at him and laughing. my heart is sad. you make me want to live like it's the last moon rising scream just like there's noone there lose all of my defenses hold you touch you love you like it's the very last moment in time. this will be the first year in a long time that i don't have valentine. it's kind of refreshing. i better go before my computer crashes. i have pictures to put on here and i will as soon as i figure out how to do it. oh good god also jane is one of the most beautiful people i have ever seen. she was rocking out in a little hat. man oh man. i can't wait til the 25th gooday Current Mood: gloomy (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 12th, 2005
3:47 pm	but i was so good to you holy shit who knew? it's funny when a wrong turn leads to a precious destination. so appropriate too. it lead me to realize that things are gonna be ok and there's a whole world out there i haven't seen yet. lots of things are falling into my lap too. like that chance to move out with someone who is in the same boat as me. i'm writing like a champ too. the go-gos are gonna rock. i can't believe it's been a week...i've spent so much time with jenn. i fogot how much i missed that. just our stupid phone conversations when driving next to eachother, sharing silly stories and laughing about bits and pieces of what we remembered from the night before. maybe in some countries boys are so different. like amazing, patient and in no hurry to prove themselves. they had amazing senses of humor too. like if i went to a different country i'd be horrified. but they were happy. and it was refreshing to see that they actually enjoyed riding jaws. also thet showed no anger when we had to drive to universal twice to get jenn's car. i think the funniest moment of the whole thing was joel getting out of the car and moving the orange cones to direct us into the garage like the professional universal guys did. and i got picked on for saying "hot" but we'd giggle when they'd say "goodday" oh my god i'm so overwhelmed by so many feelings. i feel like someone told me santa isn't real. this whole situation has made me realize that i want to play all sorts of places with our band and be crazy. i'm so excited, our first gig is on the 25th. how exciting is that? i wonder how long it would take me to save my pennies so that i'd have enough to fly to austrailia. prolly more than i'll ever have. just think about it. all the beer i want and i wouldn't have to tip. more later. i'm so overwhelmed. Current Mood: sad (Comment on this)
Monday, February 7th, 2005
11:38 pm	she's totaly fingared i just have to say this now....i was driving home after going to a bar, and i get pulled over. in typical annie fashion i would have been thrown into jail or slapped with a ticket. but the guy started yelling at me through his window. and then he pulled me over but he was in front. he walked to me to tell me my lights weren't on, and he didn't want me to get pulled over by another cop. i was like "was i speeding?" and he said "no" and i thanked him and left. it was fabulous. practice was good. but it will be better tomorrow. i saw the light this evening. and remembered austrailian boys. no slut am i. that's for damn sure. fucking nice policeman. i shoulda went bowling. in the past 2 days i've realized alot of strengths and weaknesses in myself. i'm gonna move in with jenn. Current Mood: jealous (2 Comments |Comment on this)